My name is Jeff and I like to write stories. I’m not famous for this nor am I likely to ever be famous for anything much less writing. I enjoy it and I will post a story here now and again. If they are here then people can choose to read or not read them at their own discretion. My first post was of course about my Susie; it is a brief glimpse at the life and struggle we went through together.
I was aloft in this world drifting like a feather in any direction the wind chose to send me. I had no focus, motivation, and even less responsibility. Once I met Susie all that changed. I went from this directionless feather into a hyper-motivated student, bouncer, janitor, aspiring writer, aspiring Networking professional, with a single minded purpose to succeed. She had become my North Star. She was my compass and I was hers and she was mine. Everything before her no longer mattered. She was all I wanted and all I needed.
When she was gone that wind turned into a hurricane and I was lost. I don’t think I’ll ever have that level of focus ever again. After her death I found myself angry that I had spent so many hours focused in study that could have been spent with her. I walked away from my studies and I simply shut down. I pickled my liver and nearly melted my brain the two years following her passing and I consider myself lucky to even be here typing these words you are reading.
I do not have any answers as to why things happen in this world. I try and believe that there is a reason behind all things. Sometimes it is a struggle to hold on to a belief which at one time was ingrained but I do my best. I miss my Susie every day and each and every time I have some mishap or things get tough I catch myself talking to her out loud. Perhaps I’m just crazy. It’s been three years and ten months roughly since she passed and if you’ve lost someone I regret telling you this but you’ll always miss them.