Are You a Sapiophile?

What is a Sapiophile? Well “sapio” is Latin for “wisdom” or “intelligence” and the suffix “phile” is ancient Greek for “fond” or “love.” So a sapiophile is someone who finds intelligence sexy and desirable. I for one am a full blooded sapiophile and proud of it.

There is nothing sexier to me in this world than an intelligent woman. Of course there must be some sort of initial attraction to initiate the first conversation but even if you have the face of an angel and the body of a venus you will lose me if you aren’t able to hold an intelligent conversation. It wasn’t until I realized what my type was that I was able to find happiness. I’ve tried explaining this to my friends and they scoff.

I had one friend rebut that if Meagan Fox somehow appeared on my door step cold, wet, and alone in a rain storm and overly grateful for my assistance that I wouldn’t refrain from her advances. I am a man after all and I am single now, so yes I would indeed move with haste. Don’t judge me, it’s Meagan Fox! His one stipulation is that she has the IQ of a potted plant. Still, it’s Meagan Fox! (In no way am I implying Meagan Fox is not intelligent, this is a what if scenario)

To this added variable I reflected a moment and explained that despite the intense physical attraction I’d have for such a stunning woman that it would not be enough to keep me satisfied. Animal magnetism will only get you so far.

I’ve been there a time or two in my life. Out enjoying the night when I catch the eye of an attractive woman and we hit it off due to liquid libido. The attraction will be mutual but we find ourselves in a very awkward situation the next morning not knowing what to say to each other. Inevitably this awkwardness turns into the dreaded walk of shame. Admittedly had this awkward encounter been with Meagan Fox my walk of shame would be more of a strut to the Gibb brother’s most famous anthem.

Too many times I have witnessed friends commit to relationships that started in this manner. In almost every case they end with one or both hurt and angry. I would advise against committing based on a one night stand. Date, continue to see each other but don’t immediately commit to someone you barely know simply because you had sex. In the past I have heard it said that women use sex to get love and men use love to get sex. I have to disagree. It is a case by case basis. Sometimes the woman falls in love and sometimes it’s the man but mind your heart people there are many unscrupulous individuals of both genders out there. Many men and women alike will use and abuse you if they have the opportunity.

Ask questions. If you are out at a popular night spot but you are typically a homebody who rarely goes out inquire if this is their “once in a while night out” or is it their “every night ritual.” People who live in bars are usually an unreliable bet when it comes to relationships. That’s not to say you can’t find a good person in this manner but it should be a red flag. Are you going to be comfortable starting a relationship with someone who feels the need to party every day?

Always remember it’s your life, so be forthright. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. If this unveiling of each other’s lives proves that you two won’t meld into a happy couple then move on. You cannot force love so DO NOT CHANGE yourself to fit into someone else’s life. You are perfectly you so stay that way.

I have learned to restrain my animalistic urges and let my mind guide my relationship choices. I advise putting stops in place, if you go out take a reliable friend to help you make good choices if you find yourself overcome with lust for the “hottie” in the corner to prevent waking up beside a “nottie” in the morning. Set a drink limit as well, leave your plastic at home and only bring enough cash for a few drinks. That can also help dissuade impulsive behavior.

Find out just what you like, but let that decision be a conscious one. When you do find that special someone who fits into your mold nice and snug you’ll be grateful you used restraint. I was one of the lucky ones I found my great love. Even if you aren’t a sapiophile such as me, I assure you that if you are patient you will find your perfect fit. Don’t give up hope.

-JM Vogel



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