New Love Allergic to Your Fur Babies?

People love their animals, but what do you do when the new man or woman in your life requires a respirator five minutes after walking into your house? Do you dump “the one” for your fury bundle of love or is there another way?

I am one of those people who are loved by all animals big and small, regrettably many of these great and small creatures will have me wheezing and sneezing and coughing until I collapse. I met an amazing woman and she loved animals, all of them, each and every single one it seemed. She loved picking up strays and claimed that’s how she got me; I was one of her strays. She had the occasional houseguest in our home until she could find it a safe place. She had a dog, Roxy, and two cats, Punkin and Gobby.

I knew she had pets before I moved in so I prepared, or so I had led myself to believe. I stocked up on Benadryl and Zyrtec but neither had any effect on the fat ball of fur known as Gobby. He followed me everywhere I went. These animals worshipped the ground I walked on. I’d give them tuna every now and again and I’d make the dog and I scrambled eggs.  When I’d wake up Gobby would be wrapped around my head in such a way his front paws would be resting in my left ear and his back paws were resting in my right. Roxy would be sleeping with her head on my chest and shy Punkin would as always be posted under the bed. These three were quite the characters and had I not been gasping for air even I would have found it comical. The Zyrtec seemed completely ineffective and by the time I took enough Benadryl to stop the symptoms I’d be knocked out from the medicine itself.

If you find yourself in a similar situation whether you be the owner or the new love interest don’t be hasty or rash in your decision making. Yes it can be hard especially if it’s directly affecting your health but there is no need to ruin a happy relationship over even the most beloved pet.

If you’ve tried over the counter remedies and met with similar results as me, then I suggest seeing an allergist and asking to try the allergy shots. There are many alternative treatments available now in this area.

If you are the pet owner don’t be discouraged by your new loves literal irritation to your pet’s dander. Keep in mind they willingly moved into a situation where they knew you had animals they were allergic to just to be with you. If you are the allergy sufferer don’t be too hasty demanding the removal of your new flames fur babies, because that’s what they are. They are their babies. People develop attachments to animals in much the same way as they do with other people. Losing a pet is very much like losing a family member so a little understanding is warranted.

You can restrict the offending critters movements to certain areas of the home and no, please don’t lock the poor kitties in a closet. Simply keeping the cats off the furniture and out of the bedroom helped me a great deal. Bathing and brushing your loved ones on a regular basis will help as well as an air purifier. Ultimately it was a trip to the doctor and the allergist that got me straightened out.

I implore you do not run away simply because your new love has pets. You never know they might be the one you are someday celebrating an anniversary with listening as your grandchildren raise their glasses in a toast hoping and wishing they will have a life as happy as the two of you.

-jm vogel

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Are You a Sapiophile?

What is a Sapiophile? Well “sapio” is Latin for “wisdom” or “intelligence” and the suffix “phile” is ancient Greek for “fond” or “love.” So a sapiophile is someone who finds intelligence sexy and desirable. I for one am a full blooded sapiophile and proud of it.

There is nothing sexier to me in this world than an intelligent woman. Of course there must be some sort of initial attraction to initiate the first conversation but even if you have the face of an angel and the body of a venus you will lose me if you aren’t able to hold an intelligent conversation. It wasn’t until I realized what my type was that I was able to find happiness. I’ve tried explaining this to my friends and they scoff.

I had one friend rebut that if Meagan Fox somehow appeared on my door step cold, wet, and alone in a rain storm and overly grateful for my assistance that I wouldn’t refrain from her advances. I am a man after all and I am single now, so yes I would indeed move with haste. Don’t judge me, it’s Meagan Fox! His one stipulation is that she has the IQ of a potted plant. Still, it’s Meagan Fox! (In no way am I implying Meagan Fox is not intelligent, this is a what if scenario)

To this added variable I reflected a moment and explained that despite the intense physical attraction I’d have for such a stunning woman that it would not be enough to keep me satisfied. Animal magnetism will only get you so far.

I’ve been there a time or two in my life. Out enjoying the night when I catch the eye of an attractive woman and we hit it off due to liquid libido. The attraction will be mutual but we find ourselves in a very awkward situation the next morning not knowing what to say to each other. Inevitably this awkwardness turns into the dreaded walk of shame. Admittedly had this awkward encounter been with Meagan Fox my walk of shame would be more of a strut to the Gibb brother’s most famous anthem.

Too many times I have witnessed friends commit to relationships that started in this manner. In almost every case they end with one or both hurt and angry. I would advise against committing based on a one night stand. Date, continue to see each other but don’t immediately commit to someone you barely know simply because you had sex. In the past I have heard it said that women use sex to get love and men use love to get sex. I have to disagree. It is a case by case basis. Sometimes the woman falls in love and sometimes it’s the man but mind your heart people there are many unscrupulous individuals of both genders out there. Many men and women alike will use and abuse you if they have the opportunity.

Ask questions. If you are out at a popular night spot but you are typically a homebody who rarely goes out inquire if this is their “once in a while night out” or is it their “every night ritual.” People who live in bars are usually an unreliable bet when it comes to relationships. That’s not to say you can’t find a good person in this manner but it should be a red flag. Are you going to be comfortable starting a relationship with someone who feels the need to party every day?

Always remember it’s your life, so be forthright. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. If this unveiling of each other’s lives proves that you two won’t meld into a happy couple then move on. You cannot force love so DO NOT CHANGE yourself to fit into someone else’s life. You are perfectly you so stay that way.

I have learned to restrain my animalistic urges and let my mind guide my relationship choices. I advise putting stops in place, if you go out take a reliable friend to help you make good choices if you find yourself overcome with lust for the “hottie” in the corner to prevent waking up beside a “nottie” in the morning. Set a drink limit as well, leave your plastic at home and only bring enough cash for a few drinks. That can also help dissuade impulsive behavior.

Find out just what you like, but let that decision be a conscious one. When you do find that special someone who fits into your mold nice and snug you’ll be grateful you used restraint. I was one of the lucky ones I found my great love. Even if you aren’t a sapiophile such as me, I assure you that if you are patient you will find your perfect fit. Don’t give up hope.

-JM Vogel

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